I have known for some time that she needed to spread her wings. Part of me was wanting it too. She has been pushing for some time, stretching her wings, testing her skills and independence ready to fly from the nest.
A big part of me just wants to keep her close to me and safe. I know I can't protect my babies for ever. I know they have to learn and make their own mistakes. I know she is ready. She is as well prepared for this step as she will ever be. I am telling myself that we have done a good job of helping her grow into the wonderful young woman that she is.... even if in my head I still see my sweet, little, curly headed, sparkly, brown eyed, cheeky, mischief filled, little girl.
Hubby often describes a time when she was about 12 and I was away. He was getting everything ready for a family vacation when I returned. Darling teen 1 drove him crazy by organising him and telling him "that is not how mum does it" at every step of the way. She bossed him around and got things done. He later told me it was frustrating and funny at the same time and that if not for her he would have forgotten quite a few things. This skinny legged little girl knew what to do and how to do it and was making sure her daddy got it right.
She is a beautiful, intelligent, capable young woman who is ready to take the next step in her life.
Darling young adult wrote a letter to hubby and I. It made me smile and I want to share it with you.
Mum and dad,
I don't want to be leaving on bad tearms with you. My relationship with you both is very important to me. I am sorry that my actions or lack of haven't shown you that, I want to keep in regular contact with all of you and come and see you perhaps weekly.
I respect you mum and dad, and I'm sorry for not really showing that. I am going to work harder at that. I love you and miss you already. I feel sad to leave you. I need to figure out who I am other than your daughter. I am hoping we may be able to have an even closer and richer relationship than before."
Mum I want to help you move your craft stuff into the room. Can we hang out this week.
Dad, I'm gonna need to come and get daddy cuddles fairly often, only you do them right. I want ot hang out with my sisters at least fortnightly if not more often. i believe that is really important.
I don't want any of you to think or feel that I'm abandoning you. But i know some of you are probably already struggling with this. It's a big adjustment for all of us. Please know that I love each of you vey much and that I am especially fond of you! I'm gonna come away for a few days over the easter break.
Thank you for loving me, caring for me, looking after me. Thank you for helping me, for raising me, for providing for me.
I know that I'll never fully understand what youve gone through for me until I have kids myself, and maybe not even then. I am appreciateive to the best of my ability. Even though it often doesn't seem like it. I do love you.
Lots of love,
Even as she is stepping out and asserting her independence she is thinking about how hard it is for the rest of us. I love her sooooo much.